Superhero
by Gillian Taylor
Summary: She couldn't be his superhero forever


Title: Superhero  
Author: Gillian Taylor  
Email: usstrustno1@hotmail.com   
Rating: PG  
Category: V, R, A  
Spoilers: En Ami   
Keywords: MSR, Scully/Mulder Angst   
Summary: She couldn't be his superhero   
forever.  
  
Archive: Gossamer, Ephemeral, Spookys,   
anywhere  
  
Disclaimer: Sadly, I can lay no claim to the   
characters from the X-Files. If I could, I   
would die a happy woman. Mulder and Scully   
belong to Ten Thirteen Productions and I'm   
only borrowing them for my own perverse   
enjoyment.  
  
Author's notes: Join me as we return to the   
season of before, where Mulder has yet to be   
abducted, and things are far more than they   
seem between our two favorite Fibbies.   
Thanks, as usual,   
go to my beta, Crysta.  
  
  
"Superhero"  
by Gillian Taylor  
  
Thunder rumbled in the distance, promising   
rain to the sun drenched soil of Washington   
DC. She watched the rain clouds build   
themselves into towering spirals as they   
rushed towards the capitol, but her mind was   
not on the promised deluge. Instead, it   
dwelt upon the man that had entered her life   
seven years before. The same man who waited   
behind her, asking her for explanations that   
she was not sure that she could give him.  
  
How could she explain something that she did   
not understand herself? How could she tell   
him why she chose to go with the devil? How   
could she tell him that she did it as much   
for him as for herself? This was not some   
strange urge to leave him to face his quest   
alone. This was as much Her quest as it was   
his. She just had to find the answers to   
Cancer Man's questions on her own. But how   
could she make him see?  
  
"Why?" he asked, his voice a mere breath in   
the room, "Why did you trust him? You could   
have been killed."  
  
Suddenly, her eyes flashed, echoing the   
lighting from the storm that was drawing   
ever closer. She would not let him talk to   
her like this, putting more guilt on her   
shoulders. Somehow, she longed to have him   
wrap his arms around her and promise that it   
would be alright. But she pushed that   
thought away, now was not the time. "Damnit   
Mulder, I won't let you do this to me. I   
will not have you putting MORE on my   
shoulders than there already is. I made a   
mistake, but it was MY mistake to make."   
The words were harsh on her lips, each   
spitting fire.  
  
"No it wasn't," he said, his head shaking as   
he approached her.  
  
"Why not?" she asked, turning from the view   
to meet his gaze.  
  
"Because we're partners. Because we don't   
keep secrets like this from each other.   
Because we count on each other to watch our   
backs. Damnit, Scully, I KNOW what you   
thought you were going after but you never   
even THOUGHT to ask me. You never even let   
me come with you. That doesn't anger me,   
Scully, it just disappoints me," he said,   
and his soulful eyes reflected each of the   
emotions his words described.  
  
"How easily is that forgotten?" she said,   
regretting her words almost as soon as they   
left her mouth.  
  
Thunder rumbled in the distance, punctuating   
his eyes' hurt and anger, "That wasn't   
fair."  
  
"No? You're not being fair either, Mulder.   
You're telling me to stop being like you.   
What makes it alright when you do it? Why   
do you have this double standard wherein you   
can do whatever you damn well please and I   
can't? I won't stand for this."  
  
He felt a tightening in his gut as a worm of   
fear moved in his stomach. She could be   
leaving him, he realized with shock. Though   
she should have left a dozen lifetimes ago,   
before he screwed up her life, her body, and   
the lives of her family. Yet a selfish part   
of him screamed for him to do something,   
anything, to keep her with him.  
  
"No, Mulder," Scully said with a short shake   
of her head, reading him easily, "I'm not   
leaving you. This is my journey as much as   
it is yours. And I will see it to its end.   
I just don't want you to think that you can   
keep this double standard forever. I'm just   
as human as you are."  
  
'No, Scully,' he longed to tell her, 'you're   
more than human. You're better than me, so   
much better, and when you're gone I'm   
nothing.' But he kept silent, the myriad   
thoughts rushing through his mind remained   
unspoken. Sometimes he was just as   
frightened of her leaving as he was of   
telling her that he loved her, "Scully..."  
  
"Sometimes I don't think you realize that,"   
she said softly, almost to herself as she   
closed herself off once again from her   
emotions. She couldn't be his superhero   
forever.  
  
Lightening flashed in the skies, lighting   
the apartment with its harsh glare.   
Mulder's face shown in sharp relief to the   
darkness around him, the light playing   
across his angular features for a moment   
before the half darkness obscured his face   
from her once again.   
  
He came closer in the darkness and she could   
almost see his hazel eyes, "No, you're not   
just human, Scully. You're far more than   
that. I just...you're my touchstone, my   
bedrock, my anchor...and without you, I'd   
probably be blown away in the wind. I just   
don't want to lose you."  
  
He had spoken such words to her before,   
words said in times of stress or fear to   
keep her at his side. Beautiful words all   
the same, but it was not what she wanted or   
needed from him. Not now, not like this,   
and not after all this time. She tilted her   
head to meet his eyes, and in an instant she   
could see the emotions playing behind his   
gaze.  
  
She felt fear. There were emotions in him   
that she shared, those emotions that she   
kept sealed behind a steel door in her   
heart. Each second she stared into his eyes   
that door began to crack open, releasing   
more and more of who and what she was...and   
it released the part of her that was his and   
his alone. Scully struggled to regain what   
measure of control she had left, before she   
lost herself in him.  
  
"No, Scully. Not now, not anymore," he said   
harshly, his hand reaching up to gently   
caress her cheek, "Don't hide from me."  
  
Her eyes drifted shut as she leaned her head   
into his hand, releasing a small sigh. His   
hand left her cheek to be replaced by his   
warm lips as he kissed a trail to her mouth   
where she returned his kiss with a fervor   
that surprised her. Perhaps she never had   
control...perhaps that control was the true   
illusion.  
  
When they pulled away from eachother, the   
rain had begun to pound against the windows   
in a stattaco beat that was in perfect   
harmony with the pounding of their hearts.   
They had taken a step in that kiss, and now   
there was no going back.  
  
Mulder searched her eyes for any signs of   
regret, but instead of that feared emotion   
he saw her. The real her, the one that she   
kept locked away far within her soul that he   
had but few times to touch. He saw love   
glowing in that heady regard and he knew   
that it was returned in his own eyes.   
  
"No more hiding, Mulder. No more regrets.   
And no more superheros," Scully whispered to   
him.  
  
And in the next flash of lighting, they both   
smiled in mutual accord.  
  
~*FIN*~  



End file.
